Self Loathing In FLA

When you begin writing you start having a picture in your mind of what you want the reader to see, how you want the reader to feel, and than, you question if your able to even paint that picture. Right now close your eyes, and imagine your on a bridge. Its around 5 p.m so the sky is gold mixed with small patches of blue. The wind is gently hitting your face, and you are thinking of how and what you can do to succeed in this world. On top of the bridge in front of you is a door about 5 paces forward.You start to walk towards the door, but you hit the edge and realize theres no more flooring to walk on. Looking down you speculate how you are going to get there, and why you should even try. Your dreams, and desires are all in the door in front of you. You kick at the air hoping that there would be some invisible bridge, enabling you to get across but you feel nothing. You become insecure at the thought of not walking through that door, but you become increasingly insecure if your even able to make it there. Such depressive thoughts deprive you of your freedom, trapping you inside walls that to you become suffocating, enamoring, and downright complacent. You begin to hate self for not taking the chance to believe, not able to take the risk to achieve. You begin walking down a path opposite of the door, a path to self loathing. 

What do you do when you have to fight against a world who doesn't embrace, yet deceives? Again I ask you, what do you do? Do you conform to ideals in which you don't believe?Do you denounce your individuality in order to make it in the world?Do you do nothing at all?

If you can feel the anxiety that i breathe once i say "Self Loathing in FLA" than you can possibly understand where I am coming from. I am a student,failed business owner of a year who is to idealistic to quit, yet being pushed against individuality to succeed, where does one have to sacrifice? I've been through my fair share of problems just as many of you. I've been deceived by my family, but i've always been the one to deceive. I've have cheated my way to glory, yet have fallen from glory at the same time. I have dreams, and goals just as you, and I am not afraid to say that there is nothing different from any of us except one thing. Do you have the heart to walk through that door?Do you have the passion to somehow take a leap, or take steps to somehow open the door to your dreams?

Do I?